Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
