That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
