Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
