dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
