He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize