last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
it's like heaven, but drunker
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
