my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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