is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
