He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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