my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
