yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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