Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
