I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
