the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
