Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
