The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
