No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
