If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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