We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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