so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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