He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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