You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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