Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
