my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
