It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
