Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
