Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
