I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
