my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
