guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
