yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
