We won't sleep together?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
