This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
