I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
time to smoke my breakfast
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
