Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
All the doctor said was why
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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