my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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