More tranny stories later!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
