she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
