somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
