just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
