Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
