A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
