I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
