either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
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She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
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We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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