sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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