apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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