Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i drank out of a bidet.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
