who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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