Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
