i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
