never play flip cup with pint glasses
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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