this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
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she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
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My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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