i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
