Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
