clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
