so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
