I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
