are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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