Are we in a gay sports bar?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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