Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
