I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
